Chipotle's Prices Are Going Up Again And Other Reasons Why Qdoba Is Better

Business Insider – Chipotle will raise prices this year. The company will start charging more for barbacoa and steak later this year by about 4%. That means that a steak burrito that currently costs $6.65 would cost $6.92. Chipotle raised prices last year, citing dairy and avocado costs. 

Do you know what causes rebellions? When the people grow sick, when they grow tired, when they grow poor, and when they grow hungry. Obviously the execs at Chipotle have never taken a European History class before, because it would appear that those assholes have absolutely no idea what they’re setting themselves up for right here. I feel like every time I turn around, I see a new “Chipotle Is Raising Prices” story. Do you know what articles I almost never see? “Qdoba Is Raising Prices”. I know that we live in a world where Chipotle is king, but I’m here to tell you that this is wrong as that Qdoba will be, and always has been, #1.

Most of you are probably already running to the comments right now to tell me to fuck off. That’s fine. For those of you who are still here to have a thoughtful and intelligent discussion, let’s continue forward. The oldest argument for Qdoba over Chipotle has been the queso. If I had to choose between living the rest of my life without queso or without sex, I think I’d have myself an easy time answering. Queso forever. But that argument for Qdoba can only go so far, because when we get down to it, the ingredients at Chipotle are all a little better/fresher than at Qdoba. So queso closes the gap a little, but not completely. That is, until Qdoba decided to go on a queso rampage and introduce like a million new flavors.

Now I’m hard as a rock. And speaking of queso, putting that shit on your burrito is $free.99, playa. While Chipotle is over there raising their prices “citing avocado costs”, Qdoba is over here whipping out their dicks and offering free guac and free queso. Why? Because Qdoba is for the boys, for the kids, for the people. They’re not some corporate fat cats like Chipotle who just want nothing to do with you besides your money. Qdoba wants to be your friend. They want to be there for you when you need them the most, and they’re not going to jack up the prices on you by 4% every time you turn your back.

I know that the majority of what I’m saying right now isn’t going to fly with popular opinion. I know that fighting against Chipotle is an uphill battle. But in a world filled with basic bitches who think that Chipotle is just so goddamn superior than everything and everyone else, someone had to come out and put them in their place. If you’re for the boys, then you should stand with Qdoba.